If you’re single, there has never been a better time for getting back onto the dating scene. With over 1.5 million singletons in Ireland, you can no longer use the excuse that “everyone is taken”.
Rena from Intro Matchmaking popped into studio to chat to Trina Mara on “Something for the Weekend” and why some people have more trouble than others when looking for love…….usually it comes down to your attitude towards finding a mate.
Here are Rena’s Top Tips
- Make sure you are over your ex – you shouldn’t try to replace them. The last thing you want to do is talk about your ex or late partner on a date. You will never have a successful relationship if you are still thinking about your ex
- Be proactive – try www.intro.ie or www.arealkeeper.ie or go speed dating – just do something.
- Get out of the usual routine and stop using excuses that you’re too busy to meet someone – it’s important for your own mental health to find love. 61% of single people want to meet someone but they aren’t doing anything about it. You don’t even need to have a wingman to go out on the town with – you probably won’t meet someone in a bar but you can easily meet people elsewhere
- Free dating sites might be a waste of time as it attracts the people who aren’t serious – it also seems to attract people looking for affairs – it’s worth your while paying for a service as the person can be tracked and is literally invested in it and will be serious about meeting someone
- Be open to revising your checklist in what you look for in a partner – it could be ruining your chancing of meeting someone great. For example, “I only want to date a non-smoker”, “I want someone who is 6 foot” or “I’d never date someone younger”. A smoker can quit and will someone’s height really matter if they are perfect in every other way?. Also remember, you aren’t perfect either. The other person’s preferences are equally as important
- When you get to the date stage – go for dinner! It’s too easy to go for coffee and leave after 10 minutes without giving the other person a chance to chat or to make a good first impression. Dinner will force you into making an effort and come up with conversation
- Don’t rule someone out if sparks don’t fly on the first date – give it a few dates and if at the 5th date, you still aren’t feeling it – then at that stage, let it go
- Don’t ever think you are too fat or not funny enough or not tall enough – people really don’t care about these superficial things. Usually it’s about having something in common with the other person
- Be open about meeting someone even if they don’t live particularly close – when you meet the right person, distance won’t matter. You can always move
Do’s and Don’ts for First Dates
- Never talk about exes, religion, politics or negative things. This will make you seem like a moan
- Never slag off your last dates – you don’t want them thinking you’d talk badly about them aswell if it doesn’t work out
- Talk about travel, your job, hobbies and interests and goals for the future
- You will already have some details about them based on their dating profile – have a few questions ready about their interests
- Girls, always OFFER to pay for the meal and GUYS, always PAY for the meal. It may sound old-fashioned but this could be the difference between seeing the person again or not. Nobody wants someone who is tight with money and it can be a deal breaker
- If you have children, be upfront about them from the beginning – no point in hiding it. It’s never usually a negative as he or she may be a parent aswell and understands your time and money will be split as the children will always come first