In a recent interwiew with Apple musics Zane Lowe, Styles was asked about his bandmates death.
"Full transparency, it’s like something that I, even the idea of talking about it, I struggle with that a little bit even," Styles said.
"I think there was a period when he passed away, where I really struggled with kind of like acknowledging how strange it is to have people kind of like own part of your grief in a way. I have such strong feelings around my friend passing away, and then suddenly being, you know, like aware of there’s maybe like a desire from other people of you to convey that in some way, or it means you’re not feeling what you’re feeling or something, you know?" he continued.
"It’s so difficult to lose a friend. It’s difficult to lose any friend, but it’s so difficult to lose a friend who is so like you in so many ways. It’s like, I saw someone with the kindest heart who just wanted to be great. It was a really important moment for me in terms of taking a look at my life and being able to say to myself, 'OK, what do I want to do with my life? How do I want to live my life? And I think the greatest way you can honour your friends who pass away is by living your life to the fullest. Like super special person and really sad," he said.
Payne passed away at the age of 31 in October 2024 after falling from a hotel balcony in Argentina. He died shortly after a hotel staff member called the police as they were concerned the pop star was "overwhelmed by drugs and alcohol".
The Sign Of The Times singer said during his few years break between Kiss All The Time, Disco, Occasionally, and previous record Harry’s House in 2022 he took time to reflect on his career.
"I’ve always had the conversation with myself about if I ever checked in with myself and was like, ‘I don’t love it, it’s not fun anymore,’ then I kind of just made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t do it," Styles said.
"I don’t think it’s fair in a lot of ways, I don’t think it’s fair to me, I really don’t think it’s fair to the fans for me to not do it, (not) really be there anymore, but doing it because it’s just what I’ve always done. And I think what has been interesting is kind of allowing myself to even have that thought process. I think for a long time even having that conversation with myself, I thought like, ‘oh you’re so ungrateful like how can you ever think about deciding not to do it,’ and stuff like that," he continued.
Styles and Payne were in One Direction along with Niall Horan, Louis Tomilson and Zayn Malik. The band formed in 2010 on the UK television show 'The X-Factor'. In 2016 they revealed that they were going on an 'indefinite' hiatus.
